Strength

My Sunday mornings and Saturday evenings have become restful and peaceful. Just the way I like my life. Work is a constant stress factor because you can only deal with so many angry, emotionally and mentally ill people for so much. And that's just the staff! Hahaha! Actually, there is only one staff member that's particularly difficult to work with and I haven't figured her all out yet. Doesn't matter because I got a promotion last week and tomorrow morning, I will be handing in my two weeks notice to go work for another County Department. I'm uber excited to work with a team that seems equally as nice as the one I work with now and to see my paycheck just a tad bid bigger. The honest truth is that I'm struggling financially because my deadbeat of an ex-husband doesn't always pay his child support on time and if he does, most of the times it's been in increments. To be "fair", there was that one time he did pay it all at once. But he still complains and is a source of stress for me just the same as well. Thank God he's in another State. He's supposedly coming to visit our children this coming weekend, but I never hang my hat on any statements (promises?) he makes. Details of his trip are still being figured out, but that's on him and part of my living a healthier life is not stressing over someone who will never change.

Which brings me back to my healthier weekends. There are times I feel sad, but they don't last and this weekend was not one of them. I utilized my son's daycare so that my daughter and I could spend quality mother/daughter time together. I often feel she gets put on the back burner because of her brother's exceptional needs, so it's important to me (and for her) to spend special one on one time together. After all, she's my first born, I love her to death and she's my favorite little girl in the whole world. I tell her that everyday and she's now repeating it. She tells me I'm her favorite mom and her favorite dad. Even though I didn't set out to be both, it's still my silver lining. I can do it better alone than with that anchor that was dragging me down. He still tries and doesn't realize it, but slowly, the drag will become less and less as I get stronger and stronger.