Judgment

I've met some pretty judgmental people in my life and they are the ones that make you feel the worst. I've been judged for my choices, for lack of making them, for making the "right" ones or making the "wrong" ones. For making ones with lifetime consequences and for letting them go on for what seems a lifetime. For not having support, for not being strong enough, even for being sick. People seem to be comfortable blaming. They need to put blame on someone or something for anything. "It's your fault your life sucks." "It's your mom's fault for not taking care of herself." Etc., etc., etc.

While all those things may be true, people don't always need to hear it. And by people, I mean me. I have friends, just like me, who make excuses for others in their lives. I see it, but I tread carefully in how I express it. Not because I'm afraid to lose them as a friend, but because I've been on the receiving end of such brutal honesty that I know how damaging and harmful it can be. Beneath this tough exterior is a deeply sensitive woman and I wish no harm to anyone. No, not even my ex-husband, despite everything I let him put me through (see me taking responsibility?). Not that he'll ever see that, but that's not my problem. One of my son's therapists told me that one day I will thank him. Maybe. It's hard to live a life of no regrets, but I'm trying.